How desperate am I?
I often wonder how desperate I am. And there’s absolutely no need. In truth I am a very lucky man. I live in a house I own, I have two nice kids, a great wife and in the middle of the global pandemic I’m still employed, although who knows what will happen now I’ve said that. I’ll probably get a note today saying my employment has been terminated and then I’ll have to start job hunting. I’ll probably end up (if I’m lucky) as a supermarket delivery driver. And you can see how, even now, even after saying how lucky I am, there’s elements of desperation creeping into the conversation. My problem of late has been trying to fight off despair, or is it boredom? What is it? I’m trying to fight off something. Perhaps I’m just tired, perhaps I’m having too many late nights, sitting in front of the television watching news shows or a movie as the clock heads towards midnight. Perhaps I’m just putting off the moment of going to bed as late as possible because I don’t like going to bed. I used to l...