I often question my sanity...
Sometimes I fear that I’m losing it. I am not my usual self. I don’t even know what my ‘usual self’ is anymore. Or perhaps I do and I find it rather worrying. I start to wonder, not about my sanity (that’s intact, or rather it’s in far better shape than it used to be) but about whether the person I seem to be turning into is the real me and that the caricature, the ‘act’, the alter ego that I developed many years ago in order to combat feelings of inferiority and shyness, is slowly dying out. Many years ago I decided that the only way to be popular was to play the fool, be the ‘crazy guy’, the Keith Moon, the nutter, the one that was fun to have around until things got out of hand, usually because there was alcohol involved. I was proud to be the one incapable of having a girlfriend for more than a couple of weeks (such a wild and crazy guy!) and although the reality was that if I hadn’t been locked into the crazy character I had developed, I was probably capable of being ‘the sensible...